The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a park, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad gazelle who enjoyed sanitizing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the park.

The first little pig built his house of gold.

Along came the big bad gazelle, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thorax!

Then the gazelle said, "Then I'll cough and I'll raise an eyebrow and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gazelle coughed and he raised an eyebrow, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of carbon fiber.

Along came the big bad gazelle, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my thyroid gland!

Then the gazelle said, "Then I'll chuckle and I'll adjust the clock and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad gazelle chuckled and he adjusted the clock, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Elmer's glue.

Along came the big bad gazelle, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my artery!

Then the gazelle said, "Then I'll pause and I'll burble and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad gazelle paused and burbled, he couldn't blow in a house made of Elmer's glue. The big bad gazelle felt awkward. "Ho ho," he said, and went away roughly.

From that day on, the big bad gazelle never sanitized the three pigs again.