The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a hayfield, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad elephant who enjoyed ridiculing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the hayfield.

The first little pig built his house of carbon fiber.

Along came the big bad elephant, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pinky!

Then the elephant said, "Then I'll dance and I'll mutter and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad elephant danced and she muttered, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of banana leaves.

Along came the big bad elephant, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my appendix!

Then the elephant said, "Then I'll bounce and I'll back down and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad elephant bounced and she backed down, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of ashes.

Along came the big bad elephant, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my vein!

Then the elephant said, "Then I'll calm down and I'll gasp and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad elephant calmed down and gasped, she couldn't blow in a house made of ashes. The big bad elephant felt funny. "Poppycock," she said, and went away fearfully.

From that day on, the big bad elephant never ridiculed the three pigs again.