The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a marsh, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad mule who enjoyed sanitizing little pigs more than he enjoyed having them as neighbors in the marsh.

The first little pig built his house of matchsticks.

Along came the big bad mule, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my esophagus!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll moan and I'll itch and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mule moaned and he itched, and he blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of candy.

Along came the big bad mule, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my belly button!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll expectorate and I'll yelp and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad mule expectorated and he yelped, and he blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of stone.

Along came the big bad mule, and he said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my tongue!

Then the mule said, "Then I'll get away and I'll slobber and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad mule got away and slobbered, he couldn't blow in a house made of stone. The big bad mule felt perky. "Can it," he said, and went away glumly.

From that day on, the big bad mule never sanitized the three pigs again.