The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live in a badlands area, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad Siamese cat who enjoyed jabbing little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors in the badlands area.

The first little pig built his house of junk cars.

Along came the big bad Siamese cat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my pituitary gland!

Then the Siamese cat said, "Then I'll snuffle and I'll breathe and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad Siamese cat snuffled and she breathed, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of fiberglass.

Along came the big bad Siamese cat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my chest!

Then the Siamese cat said, "Then I'll blow up and I'll dither and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad Siamese cat blew up and she dithered, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of fiber.

Along came the big bad Siamese cat, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my scalp!

Then the Siamese cat said, "Then I'll inhale and I'll faint and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad Siamese cat inhaled and fainted, she couldn't blow in a house made of fiber. The big bad Siamese cat felt enraged. "Aye," she said, and went away tearfully.

From that day on, the big bad Siamese cat never jabbed the three pigs again.