The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who wanted to live at a seashore, but first they needed to build their houses. Down the road from the three little pigs lived a big bad crow who enjoyed controlling little pigs more than she enjoyed having them as neighbors at the seashore.

The first little pig built his house of jewels.

Along came the big bad crow, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The first little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my Adam's apple!

Then the crow said, "Then I'll meditate and I'll smile and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad crow meditated and she smiled, and she blew the first little pig's house in.

The second little pig built his house of antimatter.

Along came the big bad crow, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The second little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my lung!

Then the crow said, "Then I'll squint and I'll chant and I'll blow your house in."

And the big bad crow squinted and she chanted, and she blew the second little pig's house in.

The third little pig built his house of Velcro.

Along came the big bad crow, and she said, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!"

The third little pig replied, "Not by the hair of my eyelash!

Then the crow said, "Then I'll chuckle and I'll kneel and I'll blow your house in."

But no matter how much the big bad crow chuckled and knelt, she couldn't blow in a house made of Velcro. The big bad crow felt taciturn. "Feh," she said, and went away bitterly.

From that day on, the big bad crow never controlled the three pigs again.