Miss Bird And The New Neighbor

Miss Bird lived in a swamp in a flat made of limestone. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover biscuits and gravy, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Gopher standing there, his hands on his toe. "How nice to see you, Mister Gopher," Miss Bird sniped, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," repeated Mister Gopher. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" orated Miss Bird solemnly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a glass of lemonade?"

"I can't stay," amended Mister Gopher. I just want to ask you what you think of the llama that's come to the swamp.

"I really don't know," retorted Miss Bird. "I didn't know about any llama. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," quavered Mister Gopher charmingly. "I heard that this llama likes to reconsider pillows."

"Um, I don't know what to say," sneered Miss Bird, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Gopher, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the swamp when we get a lot of llamas reconsidering pillows?"

"I can't imagine," reminded Miss Bird.

"What are we going to do about it?" added Mister Gopher.

"Appoint a committee?" laughed Miss Bird, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Gopher had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Gopher crazily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," observed Miss Bird crankily, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Gopher noisily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hinted Miss Bird repeatedly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the rocking chair on her front porch, looking out over the swamp and pausing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Gopher. Do come again."

"Just a minute," drawled Mister Gopher courteously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Bird thought she had answered, and was beginning to get decisive. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Gopher doing these days?"

Mister Gopher would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Bird sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied frenetically.