Miss Swan And The New Neighbor

Miss Swan lived in a country meadow in a KOA Kampground made of yarn. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover dry toast, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tumbled to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Robot standing there, her hands on her knee. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Robot," Miss Swan wept, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," imitated Mrs. Robot. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" guessed Miss Swan fearfully, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a shot of whiskey?"

"I can't stay," explained Mrs. Robot. I just want to ask you what you think of the bat that's come to the country meadow.

"I really don't know," stuttered Miss Swan. "I didn't know about any bat. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," jeered Mrs. Robot tearfully. "I heard that this bat likes to sand soccer balls."

"Um, I don't know what to say," squeaked Miss Swan, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Robot, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the country meadow when we get a lot of bats sanding soccer balls?"

"I can't imagine," shuddered Miss Swan.

"What are we going to do about it?" swore Mrs. Robot.

"Appoint a committee?" urged Miss Swan, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Robot had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Robot sympathetically. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," cajoled Miss Swan firmly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Robot roughly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," explained Miss Swan gently, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the buffet on her front porch, looking out over the country meadow and dancing. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Robot. Do come again."

"Just a minute," nattered Mrs. Robot patiently. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Swan thought she had answered, and was beginning to get bizarre. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Robot doing these days?"

Mrs. Robot would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Swan sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied innocently.