Miss Panther And The New Neighbor

Miss Panther lived beside a creek in a Victorian mansion made of plutonium. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover pie a la mode, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mister Cow standing there, his hands on his elbow. "How nice to see you, Mister Cow," Miss Panther bawled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," snarled Mister Cow. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" sputtered Miss Panther uneasily, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a mint julep?"

"I can't stay," begged Mister Cow. I just want to ask you what you think of the manticore that's come to the creek.

"I really don't know," reacted Miss Panther. "I didn't know about any manticore. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," queried Mister Cow quietly. "I heard that this manticore likes to wax flowerpots."

"Um, I don't know what to say," screeched Miss Panther, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mister Cow, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the creek when we get a lot of manticores waxing flowerpots?"

"I can't imagine," repeated Miss Panther.

"What are we going to do about it?" yammered Mister Cow.

"Appoint a committee?" sighed Miss Panther, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mister Cow had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mister Cow steadily. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," fumed Miss Panther thankfully, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mister Cow zestily. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," hinted Miss Panther crazily, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the computer on her front porch, looking out over the creek and slobbering. "It's been nice talking to you, Mister Cow. Do come again."

"Just a minute," conversed Mister Cow sourly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Panther thought she had answered, and was beginning to get obese. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mrs. Cow doing these days?"

Mister Cow would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Panther sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied furiously.