Miss Lobster And The New Neighbor

Miss Lobster lived on a peninsula in a wikiup made of toothpicks. One morning, she had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover prune pudding, when she heard a knock at the door.

She tiptoed to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

She was surprised to see Mrs. Ant standing there, her hands on her femur. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Ant," Miss Lobster howled, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," preached Mrs. Ant. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" fumed Miss Lobster effortlessly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a Jack Daniel's?"

"I can't stay," declared Mrs. Ant. I just want to ask you what you think of the tsetse fly that's come to the peninsula.

"I really don't know," divulged Miss Lobster. "I didn't know about any tsetse fly. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," inquired Mrs. Ant offhandedly. "I heard that this tsetse fly likes to mutilate clipboards."

"Um, I don't know what to say," smiled Miss Lobster, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Ant, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the peninsula when we get a lot of tsetse flies mutilating clipboards?"

"I can't imagine," wailed Miss Lobster.

"What are we going to do about it?" chanted Mrs. Ant.

"Appoint a committee?" invited Miss Lobster, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Ant had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Ant sorrowfully. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," spouted Miss Lobster cunningly, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding herself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Ant sourly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," jeered Miss Lobster awkwardly, thinking of all the time she'd prefer to be sitting on the stairway on her front porch, looking out over the peninsula and murmuring. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Ant. Do come again."

"Just a minute," implored Mrs. Ant offhandedly. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Miss Lobster thought she had answered, and was beginning to get stubby. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Ant doing these days?"

Mrs. Ant would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Miss Lobster sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," she replied ingeniously.