Mister Chihuahua And The New Neighbor

Mister Chihuahua lived in a rainforest in an igloo made of deer hide. One morning, he had just finished breakfast and was putting away the leftover ramen noodles, when he heard a knock at the door.

He stalked to the door, wondering who would be stopping for a visit at this time of day.

He was surprised to see Mrs. Gopher standing there, her hands on her bicep. "How nice to see you, Mrs. Gopher," Mister Chihuahua hummed, not at all sure it was indeed nice. "The pleasure's all yours, I'm sure," spouted Mrs. Gopher. "May I come in?"

"Oh, I'm forgetting my manners!" noted Mister Chihuahua sourly, opening the door wide. "Please come in. Can I get you a hot buttered rum?"

"I can't stay," declared Mrs. Gopher. I just want to ask you what you think of the coyote that's come to the rainforest.

"I really don't know," uttered Mister Chihuahua. "I didn't know about any coyote. I'm sure she is very nice."

"Well don't be so sure," wondered Mrs. Gopher busily. "I heard that this coyote likes to shake biscuits."

"Um, I don't know what to say," bragged Mister Chihuahua, who really didn't know what to say.

"Well I do," said Mrs. Gopher, who always seemed to know what to say. "What do you think is going to happen to the rainforest when we get a lot of coyotes shaking biscuits?"

"I can't imagine," barked Mister Chihuahua.

"What are we going to do about it?" smirked Mrs. Gopher.

"Appoint a committee?" inquired Mister Chihuahua, who was pretty sure a committee was what Mrs. Gopher had in mind.

"That's exactly right," said Mrs. Gopher solemnly. "A committee to study the problem."

"Well that's a fine idea," bellowed Mister Chihuahua automatically, who wanted to bring the conversation to a close quickly, without finding himself on this committee.

"I'd like for you to be on the committee," said Mrs. Gopher suddenly. "You always have such good ideas."

"Oh, I don't think I'd have time for that," sputtered Mister Chihuahua lickety-split, thinking of all the time he'd prefer to be sitting on the beanbag chair on his front porch, looking out over the rainforest and whirling. "It's been nice talking to you, Mrs. Gopher. Do come again."

"Just a minute," moaned Mrs. Gopher ferociously. "You didn't answer about the committee."

Mister Chihuahua thought he had answered, and was beginning to get megalomaniacal. "Thank you so much for thinking of me. It is a lovely day, isn't it? How is Mister Gopher doing these days?"

Mrs. Gopher would have none of it. "So, let's meet at your house, say tomorrow at two?"

Mister Chihuahua sighed. "Tomorrow at two it is," he replied caustically.