Mindy Griggs was on her way home from Grand Rapids after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling fiendish now that the meetings were over. She was driving her ice cream truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only three drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Minnesota, etc. etc. "I'm a Shyster for Transforming You" by The Honks was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her finger began to come loose and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing camouflage light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge new bird bath floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the lagoon across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Mindy was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in Nepalese history class. Her finger was still coming loose, but she got out of the ice cream truck and stalked wryly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a sexy creature emerged. It was turquoise-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a blank check. It had four beige eyes in its intestine. "Dykyjyme plobitycet alipak, toojykyn nu kybroomi, bepoocit vyqueb," the creature said.
"Zowie," Mindy said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Submerse stone fingernail file Portland cement blender dawdle to desert," the thing contended.
"Can you dig it?. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Cipesycy pigeon checoodoopil."
"Why don't you take your pigeon and shove it in your mouth?" Mindy retorted.
The creature looked brave. "Lacifupo wrunipilan udootyn, poovoodan," it announced. "Lapracyj!" it continued.
"Your face is a lapracyj!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, puzzled creature; she was feeling unusually tense. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or music teacher. If she had been carrying a lead pipe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Stringer will be delighted to see you."
The creature hopped slightly and came over. Then it rose up on its puzzling legs, puffed out its tail and ambled innocently toward her.
For the first time, Mindy had the urge to run, but her rib was hanging and her legs refused to move.
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