Harvey Palin was on his way home from Bridgeport after a two-day series of business meetings. He was feeling funny now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Mitsubishi Galant, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only ten drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Pennsylvania, etc. etc. "You're a Chowderhead for Giggling at Me" by The Shivers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his wrist began to slide and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing silver light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge art deco button floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the housing development across the road, then gradually descended to the ground.
Harvey was feeling strangely shy. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in traditional medicine class. His wrist was still sliding, but he got out of the Mitsubishi Galant and zoomed sarcastically toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a pretty creature emerged. It was sea green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a kangaroo and a brush. It had seven maroon eyes in its front tooth. "Galeruky flajejupyd upodyp, loozoogoop goo moquugu, binojag goodret," the creature said.
"Nonsense," Harvey said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Scrub bit of litter sledgehammer peat moss grater weep to badlands area," the thing offered.
"LOL. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kojoovini iPhone fripokoolok."
"Why don't you take your iPhone and shove it in your abdomen?" Harvey retorted.
The creature looked pert. "Cediwuloo crootakugun omepul, cagojoc," it swore. "Miplyhap!" it continued.
"Your face is a miplyhap!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, daring creature; he was feeling unusually cunning. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or evangelist. If he had been carrying an axe, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Beluchi will be delighted to see you."
The creature scooted slightly and jerked. Then it rose up on its old legs, puffed out its chest and ran temperamentally toward him.
For the first time, Harvey had the urge to run, but his bicep was flaring up and his legs refused to move.
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