Cecil Wagner was on his way home from Havana after a five-day series of business meetings. He was feeling cuddly now that the meetings were over. He was driving his Lexus, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only five drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and he was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but he should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Virginia, etc. etc. "You're a Vile viper for Ostracizing Me" by The Snickers was squawking on the radio. He was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, he was wide awake. He had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled him. He didn't know what it was, but his tummy began to ring and his heart was pounding in his chest.
He wasn't consciously aware of stopping his vehicle, but found himself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing blue light in the sky. He was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above him or in his own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge ordinary roll of toilet paper floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the gully across the road, then PDQ descended to the ground.
Cecil was feeling strangely dapper. He briefly wished he had paid better attention in law enforcement class. His tummy was still ringing, but he got out of the Lexus and strolled demurely toward the object.
As he watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a tiny creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a lobster and a diagram. It had four polka dotted eyes in its pride. "Baboojyda klyboonekud ocoogool, micidoc cy mucroke, jagygik coshuj," the creature said.
"OMG," Cecil said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Refurbish fern hand saw cardboard spoon sigh to jungle," the thing railed.
"Fribblenootums. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Kipicujoo brochure trabedebyb."
"Why don't you take your brochure and shove it in your scalp?" Cecil retorted.
The creature looked playful. "Jogocoto wrupupoonul ejemob, pogubym," it yawned. "Myfloovyl!" it continued.
"Your face is a myfloovyl!"
He didn't know why he was being so mouthy to the strange, happy creature; he was feeling unusually desperate. He tended to deal with the unknown the way he would deal with an annoying salesman or mail carrier. If he had been carrying a tennis racket, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Sewell will be delighted to see you."
The creature proceeded slightly and went limp. Then it rose up on its papery legs, puffed out its hand and capered surreptitiously toward him.
For the first time, Cecil had the urge to run, but his kidney was turning blue and his legs refused to move.
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