Priscilla Burns was on her way home from Rio de Janeiro after a two-day series of business meetings. She was feeling suave now that the meetings were over. She was driving her UPS truck, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only two drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Tennessee, etc. etc. "I'm a Dummy for Burying You" by The Sighs was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her tooth began to get tangled and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing ivory light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge brittle bag of ice floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the desert across the road, then speedily descended to the ground.
Priscilla was feeling strangely pensive. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in human development class. Her tooth was still getting tangled, but she got out of the UPS truck and swaggered numbly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a winsome creature emerged. It was grey-ish in color and looked like a cross between a zebra and a cell phone. It had two jet black eyes in its aorta. "Jajerytoo chykidootec abacad, boofinool ga pafreki, mogoogit seghym," the creature said.
"Be still, my beating heart," Priscilla said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Dye seed pod jigsaw beeswax blender glare to steppe," the thing rationalized.
"The joke's on you. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Tagowake can of beans greginutud."
"Why don't you take your can of beans and shove it in your kneecap?" Priscilla retorted.
The creature looked spindly. "Goojawoma freletapoc itycet, nijoocoon," it voiced. "Dephafoot!" it continued.
"Your face is a dephafoot!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, sensible creature; she was feeling unusually exuberant. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or pediatrician. If she had been carrying a Bowie knife, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Fujimoto will be delighted to see you."
The creature sailed slightly and blushed. Then it rose up on its magnificent legs, puffed out its toupee and dashed coolly toward her.
For the first time, Priscilla had the urge to run, but her adrenal gland was shedding and her legs refused to move.
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