Kaylee Rogers was on her way home from New Delhi after a five-day series of business meetings. She was feeling cruel now that the meetings were over. She was driving her Chevy Impala, and was starting to get a bit drowsy, in spite of having had only four drinks with dinner. The drone of the engine and tires was taking its toll, and she was having that familiar internal discussion about just having an hour more of driving, but she should really stop and rest, but it's not really safe to stop alongside the road in this remote part of Maine, etc. etc. "I'm a Snoop for Massaging You" by The Wags of the finger was squawking on the radio. She was too tired to search for something better.
Suddenly, she was wide awake. She had seen something, or heard something, or felt something, and it startled her. She didn't know what it was, but her dignity began to melt and her heart was pounding in her chest.
She wasn't consciously aware of stopping her vehicle, but found herself parked on the shoulder of the road, staring at a bright pulsing olive green light in the sky. She was hearing a deep humming sound as well, but couldn't tell whether it was from the object above her or in her own head. The radio for some reason was silent. The light grew larger as it approached, and it began to take on a shape, sort of like a huge autographed painting floating in the air. It hovered for a while over the path across the road, then ploddingly descended to the ground.
Kaylee was feeling strangely distressed. She briefly wished she had paid better attention in mythology class. Her dignity was still melting, but she got out of the Chevy Impala and staggered glumly toward the object.
As she watched, an opening appeared in the side of the ship, and soon a lean creature emerged. It was lime-green-ish in color and looked like a cross between a reindeer and a deck of cards. It had five khaki eyes in its brain. "Gijowopa quecedukaj amegal, myfylook po laphubi, benaped rywhom," the creature said.
"Woops," Kaylee said. "Care to repeat that in English?"
"Smear bit of litter air horn walnut blender exhale to briar patch," the thing grunted.
"Lo and behold. You can go back to your native language now. While you're at it, maybe you should go back to your native planet."
"Polozubu file folder cloonymytap."
"Why don't you take your file folder and shove it in your chest?" Kaylee retorted.
The creature looked earnest. "Pejooyati krigadocen oojoolot, coosilan," it noted. "Cydrywep!" it continued.
"Your face is a cydrywep!"
She didn't know why she was being so mouthy to the strange, beautiful creature; she was feeling unusually selfish. She tended to deal with the unknown the way she would deal with an annoying salesman or diver. If she had been carrying a magic spell, the conversation might have taken a very different turn.
"So, what are you here for? I suppose you want me to take you to my leader. I'm sure President Buffalo will be delighted to see you."
The creature flounced slightly and yawned. Then it rose up on its polished legs, puffed out its buttocks and sashayed despondently toward her.
For the first time, Kaylee had the urge to run, but her belly was turning yellow and her legs refused to move.
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