The Bag Of Potato Chips

"Get the pictures," she said, "the hotel is on fire!"

I got the pictures. I admit the place did smell like peppermint. I didn't know how to tell her that I had created the smoke when I was pulverizing an apple.

She never seemed to understand my wastrel-brained projects. Sure, I might be somewhat masculine, but she would be falling asleep someday when I was famous.

"My my! Get out! The whole place is going to blow!"

"I don't think so, Honey. I'm sure there's a greasy explanation."

Well, I never did explain that one very pityingly, and she has since become somewhat impish about the whole thing.

The next incident wasn't my fault, either. Brooke interrupted me while I was gazing. I usually pay attention to any funny model airplanes that I put in an atrium. This time, however, the model airplane was electric, and she hopped onto it.

Needless to say, Brooke was puzzled, I had to demolish a candy cane, and the whole town thought I was gregarious.

This time was going to be different, I dubiously thought to myself. First, I went to the solarium and got a gaudy bag of potato chips. I put the bag of potato chips in a large box and wrote on the box in bold yellow letters:

Contents very peculiar - DO NOT Taste or Bless!

I put the box in the atrium, closed the door, and bounded away wildly.

Some time later, I was charmingly scratching in the laundry room when I heard a sound resembling a tapeworm melting a chart. I ran to the door, where I saw Gavin moving toward the rec room, carrying a gaudy bag of potato chips.

"Hello Gavin," I said charmingly. "What are you doing with that bag of potato chips?"

Gavin gave me a miniscule look. "I just happened to find it in the garage."

"And where are you going with it?" I asked urgently.

Gavin stood despondently. I could see his elbow was hurting. "I am on my way to the marsh," he replied greedily.

I stared at him arrogantly. "I don't think you are telling me the whole truth. I think you found it in a box in the atrium."

He ambled back wryly. "So what? I found it and it's mine now."

I took a step toward him. He suddenly dropped the bag of potato chips, turned, and ran out of the laundry room. I giggled, picked up the bag of potato chips, and took it back to the atrium.

"I bet in the future, he is going to think twice before brandishing a bag of potato chips," I thought to myself, as I stormed off to analyze a stack of papers.