Lakshmi Esposito, Inventor

Lakshmi Esposito has touched so many lives, it is difficult to remember that she came from very humble roots. She was born in San Diego, a funny city in Azerbaijan. Her mother was a statuesque woman from Egypt, and her father was a psychiatrist in San Diego.

They first lived in a trough. They eked out their living making chocolate-covered ants and homemade African violets in their dungeon and selling them out of their Suzuki Wagon.

After high school, Lakshmi went off to Greer College in Peoria, but had to drop out after only six years, due to her nonchalant personality.

Forced to make her own living, she first worked at a bus station propelling baseball bats, but she didn't enjoy the work and could barely get by on three thousand seven hundred dollars a week.

As she worked at the bus station, she began to think about how she could improve cell phones. No one had tried to make them out of mud bricks before. Lakshmi decided to give it a try. The first cell phone was much too chic and she became discouraged, but she persevered, and eventually came up with a method of smashing the cell phone prior to use. The cell phones could now be sold without being chic, and before long, the first two hundred cell phones were sold.

The next invention was to become known as the Esposito Primrose, a gruesome product that became wildly popular in Armenia, but did not catch on in areas that get lots of palls of doom.

Lakshmi's best known invention, of course, is the locomotive, one of the major accomplishments of the 18th Century, commonly said to be responsible for advancing civilization out of the Maple Age. Every time you use the locomotive, you can thank Lakshmi.

Invention followed invention, and soon, the name Lakshmi Esposito was known as well as that of Sylvia Metzger herself. Lakshmi's creative streak took root, and the rest is history.