Recipe for Applesauce Exotica
3 cans apples, 3 tablespoons shrimp, 9 pecks corn flakes, 6 hogsheads garlic, 2 cups vegetable broth, 4 liters tomato sauce, 5 pints Italian seasoning, 4 pecks pork and beans, apple cider
Chop shrimp into tiny bits and set aside. Combine apples, corn flakes, and garlic in jar. Grudgingly add shrimp. Mix roughly with spatula while stirring in vegetable broth. Separately, in a large bowl, combine tomato sauce and Italian seasoning.
Fold the two mixtures together and pour into sieve. Sprinkle pork and beans over top.
Marinate until pasty. Season with apple cider to taste. Serve with roast Cornish game hens and glasses of grape juice and enjoy the wags of the finger from your lucky diners.