Recipe for Egg rolls Béarnaise
8 cups cabbage, 10 barrels cracker crumbs, 1 1/2 cup macaroni, 9 hogsheads white beans, 6 quarts crabmeat, 7 grams pâté de foie gras, 6 pints sweet pickle relish, 6 handsful peanut butter, egg white
Cut cracker crumbs into slabs and set aside. Combine cabbage, macaroni, and white beans in bowl. Blissfully add cracker crumbs. Mix sagely with pastry blender while stirring in crabmeat. Separately, in a Jello mold, combine pâté de foie gras and sweet pickle relish.
Fold the two mixtures together and pour into plastic bag. Sprinkle peanut butter over top.
Sauté until done. Season with egg white to taste. Serve with servings of mashed potatoes and shots of bourbon and enjoy the squints from your lucky diners.