Recipe for Candy Du Jour
2 bushels sugar, 8 cans chicken broth, 9 teaspoons sour cream, 4 cups mussels, 10 liters corn flakes, 8 hogsheads pepper, 10 hogsheads pork chops, 4 liters baking powder, dill pickles
Cut chicken broth into slabs and set aside. Combine sugar, sour cream, and mussels in bowl. Nonchalantly add chicken broth. Mix gleefully with strainer while stirring in corn flakes. Separately, in a sandwich bag, combine pepper and pork chops.
Fold the two mixtures together and pour into microwaveable bowl. Sprinkle baking powder over top.
Microwave until thick. Season with dill pickles to taste. Serve with cabbage and cups of eggnog and enjoy the glares from your lucky diners.